back at it again

well guys, or whoever still reads this crap, im back at it.
so im a little bit older and probably non the wiser

where do i begin, life seems to just be cyclical because ive been doing the same thing year in and year out.
i moved out of the house and that was fun, but it seemed that i traded my parents
for even worse parental figures. my roommates felt that life decisions i was making
didnt fit into their new lifestyle so they ridiculed it and ostracized me for it.
eventually things came to a head and i made the decision to not keep myself in such an environment.
so now im back at my parents, on the verge of hitting what most out say is the first quarter
of my life with the only to show is a very slowing decreasing debt, a newish car,
a steady job that pays the bills and a cute cat.
so you tell me world, have i lived up to my potential yet?
honestly i never pictured it this way but who knows, the struggles of today could be the
push i needed to get to where i want to go.
regardless of any life choices i make, the only thing that matters are my dreams.

rambling again, cant ever find myself thinking of just one subject at any time. the mind wanders
too much and its the curse of what i would call and over burdened mind with little to do.
seriously, my time is spent at work babysitting people that are dealing with less than
intelligent old people and their cohorts on telephones, drinking like im at a college frat party,
not talking to pretty girls because im "too shy" to say anything, and playing videogames because
thats what brings in the ladies. on a lighter note, i have since tried to stop falling in love
with every girl that smiles at me and decided to at least consider they dont know who i am.
is it weird to be a 20 something year old in this day in age?

now of course im super critical of myself but why not, someone has to be.
my friends will sugarcoat it and my family will be oblivious to it all. growing up now is so odd.
when was the last time you went to the farmers market and met the person of your dreams?
as im typing i feel myself getting less interested in this topic as is probably anyone reading this post.
lets switch gears a little, ive been struggling with some ideas of making some extra money.
in my head im like i can get a second job and it will be all fine, but i know i would hate life
becasue i would have extra money with no time to spend it.
or i could become an artist and make shit that people would be willing to pay money for.
im more fond of the 2nd one, as it will afford me to be creative again, which i enjoy and
quite possibly allow me to interact with people again. at least people i dont work with.

well it seems that ive gone on long enough, if you do read this then i commend you for making it all
the way through it. by all means read further and delve into the small puddle that is the
void of my mind. also a big thanks because i know im not easy to put up with, even in writing!
also heres a cat doing stuff

just a cute dream

so i think i just found out what it means to be an adult,
not caring how your life turns out but thinking ahead to the future of those that
have yet to come.
ive been very selfish, ive always wanted to find the right girl and wouldnt settle for
anything less. thats just a stupid idea. sure you can find love but its not the same.
whose to say the girl you fall for will be the right one, what if you moved to a different
city and found the right one there. its just a matter of circumstance.

now i really do want to fall in love with the one, ive always dreamed of having kids of my own.
in my dreams, i always pictured having a baby girl and i hold on to that dream very tightly.
if i could wish for 3 things in life it would be to find an awesome girl, have a beautiful
baby girl and to look like jason statham by the time im 40.

sure having fun is nice because thats what being young is all about, but no matter how old
i am, im always looking forward to being a dad. idk why but it seems way more interesting and
fun than partying all night. now dont get me wrong i love partying but it doesnt hold a
candle to the idea of being a parent, but thats a long ways off hopefully.

this dream i have a having a baby girl is literally the only thing i hope comes true!
i want to be there when she is born to mark her with a sharpie to make sure i dont lose her,
jsut like my dad did to me. i want to be there when she wakes up in the middle of the night
crying her face off. to be there at the end of the room to pick her up when she crawls to me.
to catch her when she learns to walk so she doesnt go face first into the wall. i want to learn
how to braid hair (even if its the simplest one) so i can make sure she is ready for her first day
of school lunch box in hand and a backpack thats bigger than her. id love that crooked smile because
all her teeth have fallen out. id play dress up and have dance parties all day if thats what she wanted.
id teach her all about classic movies (because lets face it, any movie out now would be a classic by then)
and teach her the way of the gamer. we would be the biggest nerds together. id learn to paint her nails
so she could look as fashionable as she wanted. id put up with her and love her even when she
went through her i hate dad middle school phase. we would have movie sundays, switching between movies
i wanted to see and what she wanted to see, that would be our glue during all her phases.
id support the shit of her in anything she wanted to do and try not to hold her back from doing
anything she ever wanted to do. id probably have a strong opinion, but who wouldnt.
drive her to her first school dance and pick her up when some stupid boy broke her heart or whatever.
teach her to drive even if it gave me grey hair and a heart attack in the process.
id make sure that we go on father daughter dates more often than she went on real dates!
i will be there to scare the living shit out of her first boyfriend and all the others that
came after that so i could be sure they treated her the way she deserved to be treated.
id support her decision to learn whatever she wanted, and after highschool if she wanted to
go to college or be a part of the working class. nothing will be too good for her.


now dont get me wrong if i have a boy or both or more i will love them all as much as i possibly could
and would do anything and everything for them. i just want to be the best parent i can be.
people say im an old soul, and thats probably why im a smartass and the way i am, but that is
probably why im always dreaming of being a parent. maybe its the way i was raised.
all i know is that i want to pass on some things and leave my mark on this world. it wont be by
doing some grand feat or becoming famous, but it will be the children i leave behind.
they may do great, amazing things or they could be just like me. as long as they try their best and
have dreams for their lives thats all i ever wanted.

its scary to look to the future, but thats what i see in my future. the present is fun but there will
be a day when my future becomes my present and on that day i will be truly happy and complete.
until then, lets just have fun waiting and see what happens

and we are back

it seems inevitable that i would be stuck back into my head wondering the great mysteries that make up my simple life.
what should i be doing with my time? why is it that i fall in love with every girl that smiles at me?(yes that last one is a movie quote)
i find no comfort in the company i keep, for they are just a facade for me to hide my true feelings behind.
very few know my true feelings and even they know nothing of the darkness that clouds my mind.
i always put on a smile and a clever phrase to make it seem as though im carefree and whatever about my affairs.
truth is that im really just a shitty person who lacks any real value to anyone other than directing
their aggression towards and to make a quick joke.
ive gone through life so far filled with ideas from movies and tv shows that havent really helped me any.
for example, ive always played the nice guy who tells girls that he is an asshole, this was supposed to make me seem
better than all those other guys out there.
i realize that this sounds very stupid but for the longest time i believed it myself.
i thought that since i played the nice guy that girls should be drawn to me and that i was the catch that they should
be trying to be with.
to my utter dismay, i realize that im pretty much useless as a boyfriend.
other than the fact that i am average looking, i can pick good movies to watch and i can make her laugh. im really not
any better than any other guy, probably less. now it seems harsh, but i see now that i dont really bring anything to the table.
im pretty selfish, i dont know how to care for others needs, im not a caring person, if its not interesting to me i could give
2 shits about it, being with someone is all ive ever wanted but i dont know what that means, im not willing to comprimise on almost anything, im way too picky, im lazy as fuck, even if a pretty girl did show interest in me i would have no clue what to do(as far as starting a conversation that didnt end with me thinking i love this girl), and im way more awkward than most people give me credit for.
there is a short list of things that show im a shitty person.
now that is not to say that i dont want or cant get a girlfriend.
i would gladly and can totally get a girlfriend, but if i were being completely honest with myself it would end like all my
other relationships. me being bitter or non caring towards the girl becuase there was no real deep emotional connection,
not for lack of trying on her part, but simply because i can bring myself to open up about my true feelings to anyone.
not even those reading here.

now getting back to my original point, being stuck in my own head has made me realize some of my faults and that i need
to do something soon to start correcting them, otherwise ill be the biggest dumbass i know.
anyone who has spent time with me know that i can make up an excuse for everything no matter the situation.
im usually very good at convining other, becuase im so good at convinving myself.
i have this urge to want everything but do nothing to forward my progress towards it and get frustrated at my poistion in life becuase of it. i cant sit idly by anymore while all my friends take steps in their lives for better or worse.
at least they have the courage to do something for themselves.
ive always been scared to make the big sacrafices if it meant i could lose something ive grown so accustomed to.
im saying this now because im ready to make a move forward soon to change my way of life so that not only will i be
forced to be a better person, but break free from the stupid childish ways ive been living.
ive always had a safety net under me and i never let myself forget it.
i need to take off the training wheels and suck it up.
im going to stumble and fall hard, but that is a lesson i need to learn for myself because everyone can tell
you something, unless you see it for yourself, it will never become a part of you.

again i ramble on about my problems on the internet instead of taking action. at least now, someone can hold me accountable

Tragedy of Commons

The Tragedy of Commons is economic concept that talks about the depletion of shared common resources
by acting selfishly instead of thinking about the greater good as a whole.
Now this can be applied to many aspects of life, but some of the most common shared resources are
food supplies, land, and water. These things may seem like general topics and its true that they
are, but they are among the most used daily.

Lets take food for example, think about how much food an average person consumes every day. Then think
about how much food we buy at the store every week.Factor in how many times we go out to eat. With all
those numbers we can start to see that some food is going to be wasted there. How much depends on the
individual or family, but no matter how small that number gets multiplied exponentially because its not
just one person or family wasting food.Its a whole world of people throwing away food. Everyone knows
there are starving kids in Africa as well as somewhere in your local community. All that food that
you waste or that everyone else wastes could have been used to feed them, but we selfishly bought too
much and didn't eat it so we just threw it away.

The first thing we think about wasting isnt land, but you would be surprised. So many companies buy up
land just because they think it will be profitable one day and just sit on it for years. This land could
be used for so many things from new housing to a school. They only think about lining their pockets and
not what is best for the people that want something on that land. Along with that, some housing, like that
in Arizona, is spread out wide and far. This seems like a nice thing because we arent too close to our
neighbors that we can hear them through the walls, but its such a waste of land. Build up and having
multilevel-ed housing is very economical, but it does come with costs.

Water is the most precious resource we as humans have. It is renewable, but that takes time and it is
becoming harder and harder to keep water in the areas needed. Think about all the water we waste everyday.
We run dishwashers, washing machines, take showers, wash dishes, water the lawn and wash our cars. That
is a lot of water to be just throwing away. Those of us in the desert should be more appreciative of the
amount of water we actually have, but we seem to waste water even more just because we can. Taking long
showers or taking forever to brush our teeth. Water is so important to survival and we treat it like it
comes from a bottomless well filled with fresh water.

There are so many more examples of ways that we as people, society and a world waste our precious resources
out of selfish tendencies. If we want even a small amount of the life we have now, we have to start thinking
ahead. If we continue on this path of needless wasting, then we may run out of these resources that we
have grown so attached to. If it helps, think about what life would be like without clean water, gas to run
our cars, or enough food to make it through the week. We are the only ones that can act and we have to act fast,
or there will be nothing left to waste besides time.

Population

In more recent times the population has spiked dramatically and this has caused great concern for the future of our planet. Questions arise, such as are we going to be able to sustain the volume of people living in the world with the limited resources we have and what are we going to do if we cant. These are scary thoughts if you arent prepared for the answers. Due to modern science people are living much longer than in the past which is adding to the ever increasing population. Most people dont want to die, but thats a natural part of life which is vital to our survival. Along with that, we as people of this planet need to slow down our re-population rate because that is the scariest part. All these small children being born at ever increasing rates is raising population numbers at record speeds. Life is important to everyone, but if we keep populating at the rates we are going then the result will be devastating. At first it would be a slow loss of our finite resources and then just a drop as demands increase and the availability dwindles.

We must all takes steps to help preserve our planet and its resources from ourselves. We are the single most destroyers of this planet in every way, but we also have the ability to save it if we take the appropriate steps. One of the big things that we need to change is controlling new borns, thats not to say that we need to stop having children but be more conscious and careful. We can also change our consumption habits as well, such as what we eat and what we choose to buy. With a little help and the right attitudes we can all change for the better and help preserve our resources for future generations so that they can prosper on this planet just as we have.

Human Adaptations

There is are children that live in South East Asia, the Moken, that are able to see better underwater. They are able to see better underwater than European children and probably most other children around the world. This is a wonderful adaptation because these "children dive for clams and sea cucumbers" which is what they must do for their community (ABCScience). This is one of the more remarkable adaptations that humans have developed because its not changing anything about humans, which could occur in mutations. This is simply the need to change with the environment and adapt, which the Moken people have done. Along with the ability to see better underwater, these children spend most of their time in the water so they are able to move through the water with ease. One source I found said that "they looked a bit like a school of little fish swimming around" because of their ease in the water (ABCScience). Studies were done with these children to find out the extent of their ability to see underwater and how it was actually possible. Scientists found that these Moken children didnt have any special or acute sight while on land, but in the water they did. In the water, they are able to control their pupil dilation to have it close to the smallest a humans pupil will go. Along with the pupil control, they are able to change the shape of their lens shape so they are able to see underwater. These children are able to use the muscles in their eyes to utilize the full potential of the human eye. Those doing the study had the children look at black and white photos of shapes and then try to match them out of the water. Almost every time they were able to get them right. There is nothing that they are doing that isnt natural, its just that they have learned to control their muscles to adapt to their living needs. It would be possible for others to be able to see as these children do, but it would be difficult. One would have to start at an early age and learn like anything else in life.
Im sure that these adaptations benefit the Moken people becasue they are able to make a living off the water, as many people in that area do. This adaptation just gives the Moken people a better to survive and prosper. In South East Asia, most of the area is close to the water so the Moken people may not be the only people that have adapted to their surroundings. Although they may not be the only ones, this adaptation does give them an advantage over other people that make their living the same way. These adaptations can mean the difference between groups of people surviving and others falling by the wayside. Now a days, that shouldnt be the case, but if these were times when the only way to live was to beat the other group at finding a food source and obtaining it, it might be a different story. Adaptations throughout history have allowed humans to better their situations in life as well as make their lives easier.



http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2003/06/20/881750.htm

One Too Many Drinks

A mouthful of dirt and a foul smell in the air.
Awaking under the hot sun, the only other awake is the dog,
He keeps at bay. His nose vacuums,
That wretched odor escaping from your pants lingers.
Quickly checking your belonging you discover it,
A warm reminder of that bottle broken beneath
The friend, shirtless and snoring, lying next to the cooler.
Each step, wide legged and slow. No bathroom
Will be able to save you now.