on a serious note

for some reason i feel like im always the odd one out
no matter the situation or the place or anything
i never really know the whole story or im just not in on everything that happened
im not tryin to sound all depressed or anything i just feel like i dont connect with anyone right now
i swear the people that i used to hang out with in the beginning of the year seem like strangers to me and its so odd that this has happened
i dont want to distance myself from everyone but it just seems like im gettin farther and farther away
like i cant just sit and talk to someone for more 20 min anymore because i run out of things to talk about
idk if this is just an akward time in my life or its just me?
i really dont
this is drivin me crazy because the only place i really feel comfortable now is by myself in my room and that is the last place i want to be
idk wat i should do or wat i can do
it seems the more i try to prevent this from happening the more and more i drift away from everyone
i cant stand being alone i constantly need people around me because if not i will escape to the confinds of my mind and never return
the thing i fear most is that i will revert back to when i never wanted to go out or do anything because i felt so left out from everything that i didnt even want to try
the worst part is though i think im already doin that
wat is one to do that has no real connection to the world?
its as if i slipped through a crack and im stuck while everyone passes by not noticing that im stuck
if only people knew my true distress
my mind wonders too much which causes me to imagine the worst possible outcomes of my life and enstill them as the true reality
wat if this entire thing is a falsity that my mind has created to prevent me from becoming the person i truely need to become?
only time will tell...lets hope it comes sooner before its too late