that last post was pretty intense and im pertty sure i meant all of
it, but there is still a part of me that wants to be a badass
i guess its the constant struggle, do you follow the path of the
asshole who does awesome shit or do you tie yourself down with a
pretty girl and have the time of your lives?
idk how i feel about this and i will have plenty of time
i mean come on, i just started my 20s!!
this is some intense shit here people
ohh well, i hope i meet a girl that good for me, and a few others
along the way to make that last one just that much more special
ps. i am a BADASS
Friday, November 18, 2011
yea i already know
im not the most attractive muthafucka out there and i am by no means
the worst looking one either, i would consider myself in the upper medium
of the medium...i know it doesnt make sense but fuck it
so with that, i really do find it hard to even get a girl to talk to me
sure i dress like im in high school, wait i dont dress like a pretentious
douchebag...well i dont have the latest fashion expertise and i dont really
have that good of game to be honest. i get so nervous around girls its stupid
i have also come to the realization that no one really likes me when they first
meet me, but afterwards people love me
for once in my life i wish girls would walk up to me and want to talk
im not saying they have to do all the work, ask me out on a date, or even take
control...i just want a pretty girl to be interested enough in me to randomly
walk up to me and say hi at least. i feel that pretty girls are put up so
high that they cant come back down to the level of normal people...im not trying
to say they are stuck up cause its not their fault. all these pretty girls have
these guys after them all the time, constantly hitting on them and saying nice
things that if you were to ever participate in the same, that you would seem like
every other guy that likes that girl. if you dont meet that girls standards then
you are out of luck because there are like a dozen other guys to fill your spot.
i wish girls would take control and tell guys that they like them, its happened to
me so many times that ive liked a girl and been too nervous to tell her and nothing
happens until like years later it will come up in conversation, jokingly, and you
find out that they had feelings too...it would have helped if i would have said
something too...hindsight is always 20/20... but i keep hearing girls say that all
these guys are wasting the girls time playing games, when its the girls that are playing
the games..they say they dont need a bf or that they need bf, but never give most guys
the light of day. sometimes i wish i would have told some girls how i felt about them
but i dont think it would have made a differnce because im just the regular guy
i like being that regular guy that doesnt have a job, still lives at home, plays
videogames all day, and works out almost regularly.
i listen to random ass music and do weird shit.
i love watching movies like my life depended on it
i stay up way later than i should for no apparent reason other than staying up late
i want to be a writer, yet i havent written a single thing or read any books
i have no goal in life
i have nerd friends and i have asshole friends
im the laziest person ever
i dont like going places, unless i have a really good reason
i have the craziest thoughts that might scare most people
i have let so many people just walk out of my life
i am not even tall
i have a hard time talking to pretty girls
i dont play games with people
i am smart, but also very stupid at the same time
im just a regular guy
i dont ask for much, but when i do it means something
all i want is a pretty girl in my life, we dont have to be lovers, she doesnt have to be my gf
she could be my friend...i dont like being alone and as long as i have someone with me
i dont have to worry about being alone. i spend most of my day thinking about all
the stuff i wish i could do with my gf, drive around for hours, just sit and talk until
we had nothing left to say, watch movies all day in sweats because we are too lazy to get
dressed, try to cook her something that doesnt taste like shit, just walk around holding
hands like idiots, cuddle until we fell asleep, kiss under the stars, just be happy
that the other is right next to them.
i dont ask for much.
the worst looking one either, i would consider myself in the upper medium
of the medium...i know it doesnt make sense but fuck it
so with that, i really do find it hard to even get a girl to talk to me
sure i dress like im in high school, wait i dont dress like a pretentious
douchebag...well i dont have the latest fashion expertise and i dont really
have that good of game to be honest. i get so nervous around girls its stupid
i have also come to the realization that no one really likes me when they first
meet me, but afterwards people love me
for once in my life i wish girls would walk up to me and want to talk
im not saying they have to do all the work, ask me out on a date, or even take
control...i just want a pretty girl to be interested enough in me to randomly
walk up to me and say hi at least. i feel that pretty girls are put up so
high that they cant come back down to the level of normal people...im not trying
to say they are stuck up cause its not their fault. all these pretty girls have
these guys after them all the time, constantly hitting on them and saying nice
things that if you were to ever participate in the same, that you would seem like
every other guy that likes that girl. if you dont meet that girls standards then
you are out of luck because there are like a dozen other guys to fill your spot.
i wish girls would take control and tell guys that they like them, its happened to
me so many times that ive liked a girl and been too nervous to tell her and nothing
happens until like years later it will come up in conversation, jokingly, and you
find out that they had feelings too...it would have helped if i would have said
something too...hindsight is always 20/20... but i keep hearing girls say that all
these guys are wasting the girls time playing games, when its the girls that are playing
the games..they say they dont need a bf or that they need bf, but never give most guys
the light of day. sometimes i wish i would have told some girls how i felt about them
but i dont think it would have made a differnce because im just the regular guy
i like being that regular guy that doesnt have a job, still lives at home, plays
videogames all day, and works out almost regularly.
i listen to random ass music and do weird shit.
i love watching movies like my life depended on it
i stay up way later than i should for no apparent reason other than staying up late
i want to be a writer, yet i havent written a single thing or read any books
i have no goal in life
i have nerd friends and i have asshole friends
im the laziest person ever
i dont like going places, unless i have a really good reason
i have the craziest thoughts that might scare most people
i have let so many people just walk out of my life
i am not even tall
i have a hard time talking to pretty girls
i dont play games with people
i am smart, but also very stupid at the same time
im just a regular guy
i dont ask for much, but when i do it means something
all i want is a pretty girl in my life, we dont have to be lovers, she doesnt have to be my gf
she could be my friend...i dont like being alone and as long as i have someone with me
i dont have to worry about being alone. i spend most of my day thinking about all
the stuff i wish i could do with my gf, drive around for hours, just sit and talk until
we had nothing left to say, watch movies all day in sweats because we are too lazy to get
dressed, try to cook her something that doesnt taste like shit, just walk around holding
hands like idiots, cuddle until we fell asleep, kiss under the stars, just be happy
that the other is right next to them.
i dont ask for much.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
another year older, another year wiser
my birthday came and went just like they all have before
i find myself in this weird spot now because im 20 and lets be honest
thats like this weirdest age to be, ever!
you are no longer a teenager and you arent old enough to legally drink yet
i mean whoevers smart ass idea it was to make 21 the legal drinking age must
be a little out of their minds
aside from all that nonsense it was a pretty fun birthday
by no way did even compare to last years, but it was still fun non the less
everyone told me happy birthday and i was genuinely happy
these past few days have been great, i havent really done much but i feel
humble in a sort of way...im certain that this will pass soon and ill be back
to my old self worrying about shit that doesnt matter and doing things i shouldnt be doing
but for right now i can say that i like it
as for the wiser part, i dont think ive gotten any smarter than i was a week ago, but i did
realize that its not about how smart you are that makes you wise...its about what you do with
that knowledge.. for instance i was teaching my younger cousin the finer points of how to hold
a glass bottle because he was trying to tell me the way i was doing it was wrong
dumbass isnt even a teenager, what little he knows about what is about to befall him!
anyways i think that im going to start making better use of my wisdom by telling people
what i have learned so far rather than trying to achieve the highest wisdom there is..
that is not to say that i will not try to learn from those that have more to teach
the only thing i hope is that this year brings a better time than the last because
although last year was fun, to say the least, i dont think i can have another one of those years any
time soon....
i find myself in this weird spot now because im 20 and lets be honest
thats like this weirdest age to be, ever!
you are no longer a teenager and you arent old enough to legally drink yet
i mean whoevers smart ass idea it was to make 21 the legal drinking age must
be a little out of their minds
aside from all that nonsense it was a pretty fun birthday
by no way did even compare to last years, but it was still fun non the less
everyone told me happy birthday and i was genuinely happy
these past few days have been great, i havent really done much but i feel
humble in a sort of way...im certain that this will pass soon and ill be back
to my old self worrying about shit that doesnt matter and doing things i shouldnt be doing
but for right now i can say that i like it
as for the wiser part, i dont think ive gotten any smarter than i was a week ago, but i did
realize that its not about how smart you are that makes you wise...its about what you do with
that knowledge.. for instance i was teaching my younger cousin the finer points of how to hold
a glass bottle because he was trying to tell me the way i was doing it was wrong
dumbass isnt even a teenager, what little he knows about what is about to befall him!
anyways i think that im going to start making better use of my wisdom by telling people
what i have learned so far rather than trying to achieve the highest wisdom there is..
that is not to say that i will not try to learn from those that have more to teach
the only thing i hope is that this year brings a better time than the last because
although last year was fun, to say the least, i dont think i can have another one of those years any
time soon....
Saturday, October 22, 2011
whats up bitches
so i havent been on here for a while and i think its about time i write something right
well recently i had like a conference with my poetry teacher and we were talking alot about my work
she was telling me that my poetry needed some work, but she commented that i have the potential
to become a great prose writer! this fucking made my day because as a matter of fact i actually want to
become a prose writer and hopefully someday be published
aside from that she said that a couple of my poems were actually pretty good too
that was about the highlight of my week!
and to top it all off its going to be my birthday in a week and i will no longer be a teenager, but enter
into the hell that is being 20 yrs old! that one fucking year between being a punk ass kid and
being a dumbass that can drink legally!
so im ready for this new year of my life to begin and do something new
im open to new experiences and i really hope that they will present themselves because this city
is really starting to get on my nerves. its like a shitty repeat of high school, with less school hours
and less friends to share it with! all i want is for tucson to be better than it is, but that just seems way too
much to ask for. everyone tells me if i hate it so much to just move away, but its not as simple as a wish
if i could move i would have already left, but im stuck here until i start to do something with my life
and it doesnt look like thats happening anytime soon.
on a side note: i really cant wait until its starts getting cold and stuff so that i can start wearing sweaters
already cause i fucking love hoodie season.
well recently i had like a conference with my poetry teacher and we were talking alot about my work
she was telling me that my poetry needed some work, but she commented that i have the potential
to become a great prose writer! this fucking made my day because as a matter of fact i actually want to
become a prose writer and hopefully someday be published
aside from that she said that a couple of my poems were actually pretty good too
that was about the highlight of my week!
and to top it all off its going to be my birthday in a week and i will no longer be a teenager, but enter
into the hell that is being 20 yrs old! that one fucking year between being a punk ass kid and
being a dumbass that can drink legally!
so im ready for this new year of my life to begin and do something new
im open to new experiences and i really hope that they will present themselves because this city
is really starting to get on my nerves. its like a shitty repeat of high school, with less school hours
and less friends to share it with! all i want is for tucson to be better than it is, but that just seems way too
much to ask for. everyone tells me if i hate it so much to just move away, but its not as simple as a wish
if i could move i would have already left, but im stuck here until i start to do something with my life
and it doesnt look like thats happening anytime soon.
on a side note: i really cant wait until its starts getting cold and stuff so that i can start wearing sweaters
already cause i fucking love hoodie season.
Monday, October 10, 2011
times are changing
i was talking with my cousin this past weekend and she has like 4 kids already and one of them who is like 12
is gettign all this attention from like a bunch of girls and she is kinda worried about it
normally i would be like that kid is awesome, but she was telling how these little girls act and its pretty bad
i mean these girls are like 11-14 yrs old and are out for blood!
in my head i was thinking like where were these girls when we were little but after thinking about it for a while
i realized that something wasnt right...these little girls are being way too forward for their age.
im all for doing some fun stuff while you are young but i mean things are just getting way out of hand
in todays society and i think its not good at all.
i mean these little girls are practically stalking my cousin from what i hear, my cousin gave him a phone
and had to take it away from him cause those little girls would not leave him alone at like all hours of the day
she said it was getting to the point where she was shocked at what these girls were txting to him and they are
barely teenagers. all i have to say is that there is a time and a place for everything and i think that this
kind of behavior should maybe wait a couple more years when these kids learn some damn self control
and actually know what they are doing. there is a real potential here for things to turn out really bad in the near future
for plenty of kids and i dont like seeing it among people my age and i dont think i would tolerate it any better
coming from that age group.
so if you know of shit like this happening, just take a moment to slap some damn sense into these kids
so that they know whats up! cause i think most of them dont have a clue what they are getting themselves into
is gettign all this attention from like a bunch of girls and she is kinda worried about it
normally i would be like that kid is awesome, but she was telling how these little girls act and its pretty bad
i mean these girls are like 11-14 yrs old and are out for blood!
in my head i was thinking like where were these girls when we were little but after thinking about it for a while
i realized that something wasnt right...these little girls are being way too forward for their age.
im all for doing some fun stuff while you are young but i mean things are just getting way out of hand
in todays society and i think its not good at all.
i mean these little girls are practically stalking my cousin from what i hear, my cousin gave him a phone
and had to take it away from him cause those little girls would not leave him alone at like all hours of the day
she said it was getting to the point where she was shocked at what these girls were txting to him and they are
barely teenagers. all i have to say is that there is a time and a place for everything and i think that this
kind of behavior should maybe wait a couple more years when these kids learn some damn self control
and actually know what they are doing. there is a real potential here for things to turn out really bad in the near future
for plenty of kids and i dont like seeing it among people my age and i dont think i would tolerate it any better
coming from that age group.
so if you know of shit like this happening, just take a moment to slap some damn sense into these kids
so that they know whats up! cause i think most of them dont have a clue what they are getting themselves into
Friday, September 30, 2011
lets do this shit
yea so lately ive been feeling pretty excited about things
you know im feeling good and i like the way things are going for me
right now and i dont really feel like complaining
gonna kick it with the bros this weekend, that should be fun
since the last time we hung out most of us dont really remember
that night past a certain point haha
the only thing i miss is my other friends who are always fucking
busy with their lives and fucking work and shit
its like hey man take a fucking break for once cause you have your
whole life to work and be lame and shit
other than that im having fun and living it up as much as i can
my birthdays coming up and pretty excited about that
not gonna be a teenager anymore, that just sounds weird as
shit but its just one of those things that you cant really help
im just trying to figure out how to top my birthday last year
because that was one of the best nights of my life and i dont think
i can ever have that much fun, but i dont wanna jump the gun
hopefully 2012 will be a good year and definitely better than this year
the only way to go is up so see you all at the top
aside from practically no one reading this i have decided to make my thoughts
more public and i made a twitter again.
if you want to follow me (im not that interesting) @goingcray
bitches.
you know im feeling good and i like the way things are going for me
right now and i dont really feel like complaining
gonna kick it with the bros this weekend, that should be fun
since the last time we hung out most of us dont really remember
that night past a certain point haha
the only thing i miss is my other friends who are always fucking
busy with their lives and fucking work and shit
its like hey man take a fucking break for once cause you have your
whole life to work and be lame and shit
other than that im having fun and living it up as much as i can
my birthdays coming up and pretty excited about that
not gonna be a teenager anymore, that just sounds weird as
shit but its just one of those things that you cant really help
im just trying to figure out how to top my birthday last year
because that was one of the best nights of my life and i dont think
i can ever have that much fun, but i dont wanna jump the gun
hopefully 2012 will be a good year and definitely better than this year
the only way to go is up so see you all at the top
aside from practically no one reading this i have decided to make my thoughts
more public and i made a twitter again.
if you want to follow me (im not that interesting) @goingcray
bitches.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
football shit
that shit was pretty crazy (3rd week) cause there were so many upsets
first the eagles lose which i wasnt too happy about, but shit happens right
then out of no where the BILLS beat the patriots for a 3-0 record, first time its been done
for the bills since 1980!
then the LIONS come out and win in OT for a 3-0 record so far
football is changing and this is pretty sweet
just started getting into it, but its pretty fun and im kinda sad that i hated on it
for so long and now i can really say im a fan
im in it for the long haul so i just want to let everyone know that the EAGLES are my
team and you can say what you want cause im gonna support my team!
now lets see if VICK can stop being a pussy and win some more games haha :)
first the eagles lose which i wasnt too happy about, but shit happens right
then out of no where the BILLS beat the patriots for a 3-0 record, first time its been done
for the bills since 1980!
then the LIONS come out and win in OT for a 3-0 record so far
football is changing and this is pretty sweet
just started getting into it, but its pretty fun and im kinda sad that i hated on it
for so long and now i can really say im a fan
im in it for the long haul so i just want to let everyone know that the EAGLES are my
team and you can say what you want cause im gonna support my team!
now lets see if VICK can stop being a pussy and win some more games haha :)
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