a clear point

i think this is the point in my life were i realize that the people that were my friends in high school were never meant for the long run
i mean its hard for me to get close to people now since i have no strong connection to anyone in this point in my life
its a bit hard because ive never had this were im just alone.
all 4 of my bestfriends have left and im stuck in this weird place where we still talk to each other but it seems distant...but i guess this is expected because its real life right?
people move away and the time you spend with each other goes away..but you never stop being friends
well ever since they left i guess i have also distanced myself from people i guess out of fear that they might leave me too
im not scared of being alone at all..its just that im not a person that should be left alone because im in my head too much
my friends were the ones that got me out into the world and i feel like im slowly retreating back to my old self
its a little more difficult making new friends that share the same ideals or even remotely the same ideals because mine have changed so much
im not trying to say that no one compares to me...its just that i havent found anyone else that wants the same things out of life that i do
the main point im trying to convey i guess is that i miss my friends so much because they played such a big roll in my life and they left so quickly.
i assume that this is the in between time were i find out who i really am on my own because it will define who i become for the rest of my life.
needless to say id rather have someone by my side to share the experience with
you never know how much you appreciate people until they arent there to share all the little things with you.
THIS IS MY LIFE!